I know that so many of you have asked God "Why did this happen to James?". Please know that you are not alone in asking this! I have asked God this question so many times also. I think I may have said this before (or maybe I just thought it- I can't remember!) but there is no good reason why these things happen. It's the same question- "Why do bad things happen to good people?"
For me, I take so much comfort in knowing that James is with Jesus. I don't know what Heaven looks like. I don't know if you spend all day singing to God or floating around on a cloud. I know there are a lot of books out right now that describe Heaven's glory. For me, it doesn't matter what Heaven actually "is".
In my mind, there is only one thing that matters. I know that Jesus loves James more than I can fathom. I know how much I love and did love James when he was here with me. I know the deep longing I have for him and I know the aching in my heart that misses him. But I also know that God created James. He formed him and knows him more intimately than I do. And if I only know one thing- that is that God loves James more than I possibly could, so that must be ALOT!
One of the ministers at my church, Jay Cole, came and spoke to our Sunday School class a few weeks ago. I'm going to try to paraphrase what he said- and hopefully I won't butcher it too much! His words have really helped me the last few weeks ago.
Reverend Jay said that he believes that God gives every person, every being, Free Will to choose God. That means that every single living thing has the opportunity to submit to God and His will for our lives. In cases like these, that means that even something as small as a single cancerous cell has the opportunity to either a) continue reproducing and cause havoc on James' body or b) submit to God's authority and stop.
So, in other words, it is not that God just didn't choose to heal James. God is so loving that he allows all of us the chance to CHOOSE him. (And Jay, I really hope that I explained this right and didn't mess it completely up. Let me know if I need to be set straight!)
I know that this is a somewhat simplistic view- but for me, it definitely helped. And it doesn't explain always why bad things happen but to me it makes sense!
Also, while I am on the subject of God's love- I know I have said this before, but I cannot tell you how vitally important my church community and Sunday school class have been. I attend First United Methodist Church, Dallas for those of you in the area and who are looking for a church home. I have been so blessed by this amazing group of friends who have become my second family.
I hope I haven't offended anyone. I'm not a theologian. I have no advanced knowledge of the Bible and have honestly been slacking off in my Bible study. The one thing I do know is that God's love is infinite and that no matter what happens, God's love remains unchanged and faithful. I hope that each of you who read this know that, and know that you are so very important and that you matter. You matter to God and you matter to me.
And so if you are struggling in the "Why's?" of life, I hope that this helped maybe a tiny bit. Or maybe it didn't! But that explanation helped me so I thought that I would share! :)