Looking for the small blessings

Well, it's clear I'm not sleeping well.  Since I typically start blogging about 1:00 in the morning, you can tell I'm not sleeping!

In fact, I think it's pretty obvious I'm not doing so hot these days.  But- I'm trying to be honest about it.  My friends know- we're calling it my funk.  One that I can't seem to get out of.  I am so thankful for sweet friends that allow me to be in a funk.  And accept me how I am.  And understand that it's ok to be in a funk that it (hopefully) will not last forever.

My aunt told me a few weeks ago that she read in a book (she thought it might have been Elizabeth Smart's book) that Elizabeth began to look at the small blessings in her life.  And little by little she felt better.  I've been thinking alot about that lately.  Currently, I am up to being thankful for coffee.  That's about as far as I get.

So I am way behind blogging about all the ways that people have been blessing me- I have so many half-written posts, but one thing happened last week I have to share.  On Friday I went to Waco to visit some of my old (former) coworkers.  (That was for you, Candice!) On my way to Waco, I stopped by Hamilton, TX.  My sorority sister, Ashley, and her husband own a monument company.  They are so kind, and are just being so supportive and understanding throughout this whole headstone process.  As Matthew said earlier, it's not something that you even conceive of doing until you have to.  I'm so thankful to know people who can guide us so lovingly through the process.

After stopping in Hamilton, I drove to Waco.  I, of course, got behind some army convoy on a 2 lane back road, and it ended up taking me FOREVER to get to Waco.  Best laid plans, right?  I was so excited to get to Waco because the day before, I received a package.  An anonymous friend had given a brick in James's honor in front of the Bear Habitat. 

So when I got to the Bear Habitat (formerly the Bear Pit for all of us old people), I was greeted with this:

When I received the package last week, I probably cried for an hour.  I was just so overwhelmed with gratitude.  Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to find out who it is from!  But I am so glad to have a little piece of Jamesie on campus.  Baylor's campus is one of my absolute most favorite places in the world, and James would have loved the bears.

It's funny, because I've been thinking about putting that exact phrase on his headstone (or on a bench we are going to put near his grave).  I know I'm a little obsessed with that poem, but I just love it.  Nothing else seems to sum up how I feel.

Once again, I am so thankful for friends in Waco (and other places!) that can hang out with me even through my funk.  I just think that it is true, you are bound to meet incredible, amazing people no matter where you go.

I'm also thankful for school.  I honestly don't know what I would do if I didn't go everyday.  It makes me (halfway) function, which is good.  I'm learning a ton, and my classes are going well.  I'm starting to think about the MCAT which is terrifying.  It looks like I will take it in May, which doesn't seem as far away as I thought it was!

Ok so maybe I've gotten a little farther than coffee on my blessing list now.  Thanks for going on this journey with me- right now it's an up and down kind of ride.  And hopefully I don't mean that in a bipolar or schizophrenic way! 

 

And to close, a picture of my baby.  A terrible quality cell phone picture, but I love it.  He is almost exactly 5 hours old in this picture.  I love this little wrinkles.  Such a perfect, sleeping baby.  It was like once I got him on my chest, he knew that's where he belonged.  And I knew that was where he belonged.  Heart to heart.