Helpful Comments

Since my last post ended up being about things people say that tend to upset me, I thought maybe I should list some of the really helpful things that people have shared with me.  And of course, grief is different for everyone, so by no means does this mean that every person who grieves wants to hear these things.  It's deeply personal, so I really don't want to say these are exactly what you should say to someone who is hurting.  But for me, they helped!
(These are from the perspective of the person saying them)

• I love James.  I love you.  I miss him. 
• I'm so sorry that he died.  I'm so sad and wish that it hadn't happened. 
• I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
• Let me tell you about the one time James...
• Acknowledging and remembering when hard days occur.(ie: I know today it has been 2 months since he died and I am thinking about you and James today.)
• James is/was beautiful/perfect/amazing... (The tense thing still gets me.  It all seems so fluid now.  He is beautiful.  He was beautiful.  I still don't know what tense to talk about him in). 
• I don't know how you feel, but I'd love to go on this journey with you.  Tell me how you feel and I would love to listen.  
• When you are ready to share, I'm here to listen.  If you don't want to then we can talk about something else.  And I recognize that the feelings change day-by-day, hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute so it's ok to feel whatever you feel. 
• You are not crazy.  It would be crazy not to feel like your world has been turned upside down. 
• Never underestimate the power of a hug!

And of course these are not all of the great things that people have said or written to me.  They are just the ones off the top of my head!  And I am SOOOOO thankful for these comments.  They seriously get me through the day. 

Ok and how cute is the reindeer outfit?  James was 7 weeks old in
these pictures, and I just love the cuteness of the socks too!

I am also so thankful that my dear friends have completely understood that everything changes at any given moment, and are so flexible with me and my moods.  I have been blessed with amazing friends that know sometimes I need to cry, and sometimes I need to laugh.  And none of them expect anything from me.  No expectations.  They are just here to journey with me, however long it takes.  I really don't know how I got so lucky that I have incredible women in my life who truly go beyond the definition of true friendship. 


So a big thank you to all of you out there for reading my ramblings!  I know they are typically random....so sorry!